To Patti and Tata.. I love you
I lost a very important person in my life. Someone from the little circle of mine.
Patti, I lost you at the age of 21. The age when I’m getting to know what is life all about, the maturity phase, the good and bad more detaily and many more other things.
You know something Patti, to be honest, I feel happy and proud that I’d take a good care of you whenever you were with me. There was a time in my younger days when I loved you more than I love amma. There was a time you were everything to me. I don’t know why but you were there for me. There was a time I make tantrum and fight with everyone at home so that I can stay at your house and to be with you.
Time goes by, we all grew older. Tata left us. You got extremely broken. You couldn’t move on from the demise and I saw you suffering without him by your side. Just after a year passed, attai left us. You couldn’t move on from the aches, heartbreak, burden and loneliness. And you’re getting sick day by day. You’re forgetting many things day by day. You’re getting more emotional for each and everything.
I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to change it. Sometimes I think back those good memories I had with you when I was young. I even think to bring that healthy and strong patti back because you was much more happier that time. Whenever you were with me, I remember that I’ll lie on your lap and always talk to you. I’ll always ask you to be happy because Tata surely wanna see you happy from up there. You’ll only nod your head and end up being emotional after thinking so much. And you made me cry during that time. All I did was to have you in my prayers each day. I prayed that you have to be strong and have a good health to go through all this. And we are all with you. I am with you. You don’t have to worry anything.
But now, you’re happy right up there. You’re with tata now as you wished. You actually don’t have to worry about anything now. You don’t need to do any household chores. Remember you always used to tell us that being born as a girl you can never escape from doing all this work. But now you escaped. Haha.
You don’t have to eat that countless tablets which you forced yourself to eat three times a day. You dont have to worry about house safety. You don’t have to look around for the room and cupboard keys everywhere when you misplaced it somewhere. Okay?
But,
Dear patti,
There’s other things also you have to know.
Your garden is going to miss you.(okay let me list down so that I won’t forget) Those colorful flowers, sugarcane, papaya, mango, avaraka, eggplant, chilli, nellika and especially betel leaf. They all going to miss you. There is no better person to take care of them other than you.
That house will never be the same without both of you. Each and every corner of the house has got the touch from both of you. Now, there’s only memories occupied in the entire house.
And,
I AM GOING TO MISS YOU.
I’ll miss you whenever I’m stress and feel like talking to you through phone.
I’ll miss you if I go to behind temple thiruvilla especially when pouring milk in the theekulli. Because you were by my side all the time. You prayed to pour milk every year in the theekulli right after my birth for some health reason. (Yes patti, Amma told me the story) I was blessed to have a Patti like you.
I missed that smile of mine when I was busy seeing customer at shop and then suddenly you and tata came in to shop with bags early in the morning and tell me that both of you are going to stay here for couple days.
I’ll miss massaging your painful leg.
I’ll miss to hear your voice on my birthday.
I’ll miss you both during Deepavali as I grew up celebrating with both of you on the eve and on first day.
I know it will be hard for me but I have to go through this right, Patti and Tatta.
But honestly, we are proud and blessed to have arranged a meaningful family gathering back in 2014 and that’s the best thing we did for both of you. No one could describe the satisfaction and blessings we’ve got on that day.
Dear Patti and Tata, we will always remember those advises given to us. Don’t worry anything about us. We will go through all this. And everything will be okay soon. I’ll be a good girl and will make both of you proud one day. Keep on watching from up there and bless us. Rest in peace patti and tata.
Love,
Your favourite grandchild.
24 Apr 2018
I wrote this on 24 April 2018, 3 days after you left me. A very close friend of mine consoled me during those days and I remember I told him that I’ll miss you the most on somedays and today is one of that someday.
I decided to publish this writing which has been saved in my note pad as I missed you today a little more than everyday especially during this festive season.
