When someone is voicing out their problems or their feelings about something to you, listen to them carefully. They need a listener. A good listener. All you have to do is to listen to them without questioning anything to them at first.
Then, give your appropriate response once they let out everything which they feel to share with you. Let them know your opinion or give them a suggestion of solution to solve their problem if only they needed.
And the other important thing is, your mind and heart should be CALM. No matter what you are feeling during that time, it can be negative or positive feelings, you just don’t let your current emotions to be involved or to be seen when someone is voicing out something to you.
I can prove this with examples.
Let’s say you are having a great feeling and literally a good day. You met a friend coincidentally and you noticed that they are sad and depressed over something. They came to you and they tried to open up their problems to you. During that time, it’s not right for you to show your current feelings to them.
I know you are happy but you can’t listen to their story with a giggling heart. And in other way, it doesn’t mean that you have to cry along with them or show your heartfelt sympathy to them during that time.
All you need to do is, be calm and detach yourself from your own feelings and at the same time pay attention to them. Focus on what they’re sharing to you. Feed them those encouragement if they needed.
Remember, when someone is sad, showing sympathy and giving encouragement are two different things. Don’t add up their sorrows with your sympathy. Instead be a good supporter with your encouraging words.
And the other example is let’s say you are angry, depressed or sad over something and you got a phone call from someone. You attend the call and they share some great news to you. I know that you can’t be truly happy for them at that moment because of your current situation.
But you can choose the way to react. And again it all starts from you being calm and detach yourself from your own emotions.
Just because you are going through some hard times, you can’t be showing or sharing it to them at the moment. You can’t be spoiling their day too.
If your current emotions are uncontrollable, then all you have to do is let them know that you are having some rough times at that moment and promise to call them or to listen to them later. And now it’s their turn to understand your feelings.
How you wanna calm the person whom came to you when you can’t calm and settle down with your own current emotions?
That’s it. It all lies in the way we handle those situations.
These are just simple examples but life are preparing us to face all sorts of challenges each day. And those challenges might be between you and the people around you. At the end of the day, it’s all about you putting yourself in other’s shoe before judging, assuming and responding to them.
They share everything to you it means they TRUST YOU. You might be someone close to them or you’ve earned a very special place in their heart. They believed that you have certain purpose in their life and it can only be done by you.
Remember, you listen to understand and not to reply at the first place.
That’s your role when they share something to you.
This message got right deep down my heart and since then I’m trying my best to be a good listener. I’ve done it the other way too and I’m sorry for hurting any of you.
Maturity and experience somehow taught me this. And sometimes I’m relearning some things which once gave me lessons.
chipmunkspoetry 