If I were given a chance to write about a lifeless object, then it would be this hero here ‘the coconut grater’
This machine here is something which I would like to cherish since my childhood days till to this date whenever I’m helping out my dad at his grocery shop.

This is completely a fun fact writing which I used mixed language. So here it goes.

The grating place is where

1. We, the siblings fought each other to grate coconut. We will point to each other to grate. Because somedays I’m very semangat to do and some days I’m very lazy to grate. But definitely I got to do it by myself when I’m alone.
2. I experienced the cuts and bloods. Sometimes it’s a deep and painful one and sometimes it’s a light one.
3. I gathered my guts and bravery to grate the coconut especially when the grinding blade is new.
4. I learn to break a whole coconut in a correct way

5. Little kids or the customer’s children will come and stand near me to witness how I grate. Believe me when I say that they won’t look anywhere else because they are so focused at the machine and the grinding process.
6. Some people especially the aunties and uncles will take advantage on that particular time to ask about me and alot about my family and any other random things. But do they know that I can’t hear them well because of the machine sound? 🤦‍♀And honestly I felt so uncomfortable and my mind voice will be like just go away from here la! And I should grind quickly and escape.
7. I learn to be patient when customer asked for only white flesh. I got to be very careful because some customers are way too fussy. It’s all about controlling our hands when grating.
8. We curi2 makan the small fruits from the coconut. Only the small one will be nice to eat.
9. I learned to differentiate the good and spoiled coconut. You got to look the outer part of the coconut then shake it to listen the sound of the coconut water. Sometimes we can only know after we broke it.
10. My fingers got swollen and tired of standing at the same place after grating many coconuts especially during the Raya festival.
11. When I was young, I used to take the spoon and hit it on the basin to make sounds. Yes the annoying sounds which later I’ll got scolded by Appa
12. When I already grate half of the coconut then suddenly customer said they want the white flesh only at the last minute. My mind voice will be why can’t you tell earlier laaa? You see now all mixed up ready 🤦‍♀
13. Sometimes customers do bring their own coconuts. But the surprising part here is the way they have broke the coconut, I’ve never even seen someone can break it the other way too and you expect us to grate it!🤦‍♀ let me give you coconut breaking class

I am thankful to have come across and got chances to use this hero here in my life and I’m thankful for the moments I had with it.
I know it’s just a machine but it literally keeps many memories and stories of me and my family members. And definitely it is a source which contributing an income for us apart from many other things in an ordinary grocery shop.

This is my little appreciation of the things around me. I am very sure we all have at least one lifeless thing like this which keep our stories alive. It would be my pleasure if you too could think of any thing and look back the memories which it has stored in it. I hope you could laugh or atleast smile just the way I did. Have a good day everyone.

To the guy whose parents showed red light to one of his career plan

I know that you are always trying hard to do something better in life. You came up with a business plan. I know that you’ve discussed about this to your parents. But it seems that they don’t agree with your idea and you don’t want to think more about it after that. And you are not talking well to your mom since that.

I understand what you are trying to do but maybe your mom need some time to agree with you. It’s not that she doesn’t want you to do something regarding business, it’s just that she’s worried about the outcome. She’s worried about the negative things that might happen if you go on with your idea. Definitely every mother out there don’t want to see their children to lose right. She might react like that because of this.

To the guy whom was once confused and struggled with his plans

Don’t worry, take chances to explain to her what you trying to do. Explain again. Tell her everything. Tell her that business means have both positive and negative outcome. Tell her that you’re confident with your plans and all and you will work hard for it. Tell her that you need her support and blessings before do something you wished to do. Give her some time and I’m sure she will understand soon. Either success or the other way, you just need your family to be your side. I believe that you will prove to everyone.

To the guy whom was going through some hard times

Please stop sighing when you think about yourself or the problems you have and facing right now. Think positively and don’t give up. It’s okay if you didn’t talk much with your family members for some time now but one thing for sure is you will be always the first person to be back of them if anything means right. You ask to leave this matter in your way. Okay, but I really hope you will be okay soon with all of them.
Appreciate those little moments when we are with them because we will never know what will happen next.

To the guy whom was going through some hard times

I’m still proud of you no matter what and always remember that. Listen, you know that I don’t like other people to talk bad or feel bad about you then definitely I don’t like you too feeling bad for your ownself.

To the guy whom was going through some hard times, you are a warrior!

I have no problem to cheer you up anytime and for anything. Remember I’ll be always by your side.
I just want you to be okay and feel proud with yourself too. And most importantly no matter what you decide to do in life just don’t give up. Be patient. Give a try and we will see the results after that. If it’s meant to be yours it will be yours no matter what.

Remember,

Every action you took reflects the attitude you have within you. This words are something very close to my heart.

Have you ever noticed that a child will always smile to you whenever you looked at them?
They don’t keep any hatred feeling or anger in their heart and most importantly they don’t play the ego game.

Yes, they cry, they show tantrum and sometimes they got on your nerves,
But at the end of the day,
All they’ve got is a pure and innocent heart treated with abundance of love.
Because a child’s heart is where the God lives. .

There’s something beautiful in trying out new things all by YOURSELF, making mistakes and learning from it.
You gain experience both negatively and positively. And the moral support without being judged from our loved ones are merely important.

I registered myself in a running event. A kind of fun walk. It’s been a long gap since I joined into those runs or walks during my school days only. So it’s like almost 5 years of not participating in those events.

I tried to convince my parents and brother to join me before register but it seems that they don’t show interest. I need to consider their willingness too. So it’s okay. And the good thing is they don’t stop me from going by myself.

So I went there. And there were few things to consider and few things to make it as memories. And definitely I met the pros and cons.

The pros were…
I felt the courage which I gave to myself to do new things. I was literally self-motivated. There’s an urge in myself to do more of this things. I witness the beautiful sunrise of the day when I was jogging. I smiled more to strangers. And especially to those kind hearted people around me. Read the cons to know more about it.

The cons were…. (a long story)

My car tyre were hit into a pothole on a bumpy field when I was looking for parking.
Honestly, it wasn’t because of my carelessness but it was because of I didn’t realise at all the pothole there. The pothole was covered nicely with bushes and it was really unnoticeable.
Anyone whom used that way would have hit into it but it seems that I was unlucky that day.
There were three women whom also participating in the run just got down from their car and helped me.
I tried to raise the oil to drive backward and forward but it just simply never worked out.
Then there were two Malay men whom came with their family whom also participating just got down from their car. I approached them to help me. They tried at first but it seems difficult for them. Then came another two Malay men. So all four of them tried their very best to push and bring out my car from the pothole. Then those men put some stones and some small tree branches and plastics at the pothole to make other drivers aware. Those acts were salutable.
Without all of them I never knew what would have happened that time.
And the consequences from the incident is that tyre was flat. Those men informed me about that and also offered to help but the run already started.
I have no other choice then to park the car and walk to the field.
Those favours from the goodhearted people whom helped me early in the morning that day are truly appreciated. Especially those men, you people are too friendly and thank you.
Then after the run, I called my dad to come over to change the tyre. I prepared all the equipments he needs before he come. Then Appa and thambi came and changed it. And I’m back to home safely. I think I got to learn some ways to manage this kind of emergency.

I lost my lucky draw number and it’s a lesson learned for me.
Always be careful with each and everything directly and indirectly. Be aware of the surrounding.

I tried out new things and I made mistakes too. I’m grateful for both positive and negative part from this experience.

2019 was the year
I took many decisions
For myself
To be the better version of myself Even if it involves decision through pain, struggles and uncomfortable situations

I completed my diploma studies
I continue my degree studies
In the midst of a lot of confusions and uncertainty on my pathway

I knew I struggled a lot to cope up with it

I knew I was not being myself during those times
I knew I had a very hard time

But
I’ve never gave up on myself
I’ve never gave up on the beautiful souls in my life
I’ve never gave up on what I believe the most
I’ve never gave up on my passions

I knew I aren’t the girl with loud personality
I knew I aren’t the girl with a hyper and sensitive personality

But
I’m a quiet one with soft and understanding heart
And will never let my loved ones to look down with or without my presence

Maybe that was the time for me to make a decision
To prove to myself
To prove the things I loved and matters the most to me

Maybe that was the time for me
To be a better version of myself
To be a stronger version of myself
To built a soft yet bold heart within myself
To enhance my confidence
To spread the love
To spread the positive vibes

Maybe that was the time for me
To do new things in my life
Even with unhealed wounds
Even with shattered heart

I practice mindfulness
I meditate
I stay detached from almost everything

I seek peace wherever I go
I have faith in my life
I create and carry the good vibes in my heart

Thoughts played a major role in my life
Memo pad were flooded with my words

Maybe that was the time for me
To spread
My words
My love musings
My motivational quotes
My healing notes
My gratitude towards everything

Maybe that was the time for me
To let out everything
Through poetry
Through words from my heart

Maybe that was the time for me
To start work out on my long planned dreams
To create more artworks
To inspire others through my passion for arts

I’m still the same person to whomever knows me
Yet seeking a stronger and better version
A girl growing into a woman
A woman whom merely trust herself

Someone once told me this

You were the woman whom fall for the depth of something beautiful And these depth will never let you go just like that

Yes, I believed that.

I’m seeking the depth of my passion I’m clueless yet I kept going on
In the hope
That everything will be alright one day

I own nothing but gratitude towards God and Universe.
I’m thankful for everything happened I’m thankful for the pain
I’m thankful for the smile
I’m thankful for the memories
I’m thankful for the growth

I will continue to heal and at the same time be a spiritual healer for those in need
I will continue to carry the vibes of the beautiful souls in my life even without their presence as I need it the most and it helps me to grow into a stronger, beautiful and better person both in and out

The only one thing I believed the most during my good and bad times
And I say it to my heart and to anyone whom seek me

What is meant to be yours will always be yours

If it is meant to happen, it will happen no matter what the circumstances and situations you’re in.

Un manadhil un suthandhiram undu
Neeyae unarndhu kandupudi

Be satisfied with your part and do not bemoan your fate. In this life, everyone have troubles which we think nobody else has. Never wish to be in the shoes of someone else who you think is better than you are.

It is the best to wish for nothing, but to ask the God to give you what is best for your highest good. You are a part of the God’s creation. He needs everybody to carry on this drama. Never compare yourself with anybody else. You are what you are and no one is like you. No one can act your part as you can. Similarly, you should not try to play somebody else’s part.

While you do your part, always carry on the thoughts that He is working through you and for you.

It’s a lifetime process to realise, understand and take up the responsibilities and commitment meant for you only. The older you become, the more responsibilities you have to face. And with that, you have no other choice than not giving up with your responsibilities especially when you are going through some hard time. .

When you accept and put the effort to carry out your responsibilities, you will be gifted with a very valuable LIFE LESSON. Yes, and those life lesson differs from each one of us as based on the circumstances we’re exposed to in our growth process.
Responsibility gives you the WILLPOWER to change something in your life. And when there are changes, have the courage to face it. You might not understand the purpose of changes now but it will definitely make sense to you one day.

Provide your best without a single complain and hesitation to do something good for you, or atleast for your loved ones. Be matured enough not to blame your mood swings when it comes to responsibility. Ignoring your responsibility just because of your current mood will never get you any better. You can’t be doing great only for certain responsibilities and let go the other responsibilities. Learn to be BALANCE in all way. .

To those whom are reading this, each one of us have our own responsibilities to be carried out all at once. For example, you could be a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a granddaughter, a friend, a student, and you might be in a good profession too. It could be MULTITASKING and I understand well what it means to handle situations like this. Be strong!

There must be atleast one person in your life, whose shoulders are lifting a huge weight of responsibilities and still manage to keep a smile on their face. If you knew someone like them, keep them right beside you, seek them, listen to them because they are the living inspiration in your life. And in my life, my parents will be the first inspiration for me. My age and experience might be too little to write up about responsibility but this is what I’ve learnt all this while.

THOUGHTS could be a very challenging matter in one’s life. And I’ve realised that a simple thought and the action one’s took from the thought itself could be a turning point in someone’s life.

Sometimes the best you can do is to remain silent because no words can explain the battle which is going on in your heart and your mind. It’s hard to figure out what you really need during that time. You might end up getting disappointed and make yourself more complicated and miserable. The thoughts in your mind and the feelings in your heart is not balance. Sometimes it didn’t coincide. And there the conflict rise because your mind says one thing, your heart believes in another thing and there YOU stand in the midst of both of that making you to wonder deeply about each and everything you are going through in life. You started questioning many unanswerable questions which is about you to yourself. .

Those thoughts will make you to overthink about life. You will realise and learn many valuable lesson through your life experience, through the confusion you are going through, and through the point of life where you got stuck, you will learn about the hardship of life from other people.
And there you will also learn more about yourself, you learn more about your capability and incapability. .

You will learn about PEOPLE. They could be strangers, friends and family. You learn about those people whom are with you and whom says that they will be with you. You will learn about the people whom wish to be by your side no matter what happens and be there for you whenever you need them.
If you starts thinking about those people, you starts to value them for their doings and beings towards you because they had realised something beautiful in you. They will always show and do the best for you to bring both your happiness and sorrows to a meaningful and worthful moments in your life. They believe that giving up on you is not an option for them and that’s the best thing they could do to fulfill their self satisfaction and inner peace. .

Be grateful and appreciate each moment in life because that’s the best thing you could do for yourself.

Teaching, nurturing and guiding the little champs will be always a journey of a colorful ride.

A peaceful mind with the quality of patience, gentle, strong, soft and strict at the same time.

A realization of not only being a teacher for them, but also playing a role as a mother during the 8 hours of their daily life.
I’m lucky to have experience of taking over my mother’s role to take care of my lil brother, and during that time I already feel the huge responsibility of a MOTHER.
But when it comes to my working life it’s abit different because I have to be more careful and aware of each child in the kindergarten.

A realization that the most important and powerful thing of a teacher will be their VOICE.
It’s very difficult for me to lose my voice and avoid the children when I have to speak to them during that particular time.
Same goes when I was carrying out my tuition lesson. I was supposed to go on with new chapters and try to finish up the syllabus as fast as I can for the Year 6. But I have no choice other that skipping it.

A realization that a teacher should be able to stand, walk around and keep an eye on everyone all the time in the classroom.
I learned this from the first day itself.
A teacher should be multitasking and be ready for anything.

MULTITASKING, it’s not a choice to choose because that’s the ONLY CHOICE a teacher have.
I have an autistic child in my class and so all the teachers work doubled only for that child. But honestly, whenever I handle that boy, there’s a inner voice within myself wanting to make an improvement in his health. ATLEAST A LITTLE.

A realization that being a teacher, I have to get used with the headaches, back pain and leg pain everyday. Yes, it was really painful but I will endure this slowly.

My experience and all the realization will be a lifetime lesson for me regardless the age of the students I’m going to teach in the future because I believe that when it comes to passing the knowledge to someone, it means EVERYTHING.

Written during my internship period. 

Sometimes you can feel the changes happen in your life.
You feel it and you can’t do anything.
Those changes are real
Those changes are inevitable

Those changes causes you pain
Those changes causes you to rethink about life
Those changes makes you to feel regret
Those changes wants you to have a second chance in life so badly so that you can feel those moments twice
Those changes will not bring back to the same moments you’ve felt before.

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